Has it really been over a year?

Rather than start this post off with my usual beginning few lines, I'll just skip all that nonsense.

Life has been a bit of an adventure over the past year. SO many things have changed. I'm not even sure where to begin...

I've been working A LOT. Still trying to save up money and buy my own car. I'm not going to lie, I've been slacking in the saving department. I've never been a good saver. I'm better on spending money. Can't take it with you, ya know? But I finally have enough to put a good down payment on something decent. I'm pretty excited but I still haven't found a vehicle that I'm willing to make payments on. Yet. I've been searching and searching so I'm hoping that something will come along soon. Fingers crossed! Luckily, my family and friends have been helping me get to and from places. And work is in walking distance so I walk there quite a bit. Just wish it wasn't so hot outside. My roomie/best friend has helped me get around A LOT over the past year, or so, which has helped out more than anything. What would I do without her?

I'm still living in the same little vacation rental that we moved into last August. I'm not sure how long we're going to be living here but we have been looking for a house to rent. I need more space! I keep wanting to craft and make things but since our condo came fully furnished, there's not much room to add more things. Have no fear, whenever we move, I'll be in full crafting mode! I have so many things that I've been dying to make. I can't wait! I need to start making more headbands too. Just to sell for some extra cash! Plus, they were a great time consumer!

My legs are doing GREAT. I'm sure they could be better, I'm working on going to the gym on a regular basis but it's easier said than done. They don't ache as much as they used to. I'm not sure if I'm just used the aching by now or if they're just a lot stronger. Either way, I'm proud of them! I still can't really stand up off the ground that well but it's getting better every time I try.

I can't believe that it's almost been 3 years since my car accident. Whew! Time sure does fly. Seems like just yesterday when I decided to start my blog to keep everyone updated/vent a bit about what was going on. This blog has really helped me. Sometimes you just need to get it out and relax.

I'm sure I've left out a LOT but I'll post more as the days go on. Hopefully!

Sorry for all the rambling. But that's just what I do.

I hope everyone has been wonderful!

"Everyday we're breathing is a day we've won."

- John Fullbright

Xoxo.

Moving forward.

I'm baaaaaack!

I feel terrible for not writing on here in so long but the truth is, I just haven't had much to write about. When I started this blog, it was to share my recovery and vent a little about everything that was going on. Now that I'm done with surgeries and physical therapy, I just haven't really decided what to write. Hopefully, that will change. And soon.

I finally have a job again! Waitressing at a sports bar in New Braunfels. It feels so great to be working! I missed making my own money. And I forgot how much I actually liked to work. I was a little nervous at first because I'm not used to walking a lot. Wasn't quite sure how my legs would handle it. Surprisingly, my legs are doing fantastic! It's actually my feet that hurt more than anything. This is the most I've walked or stood in a really long time. I've tried a bunch of different shoes with no luck on the outcome of pain at the end of my shifts. I'm slowly building my tolerance back up, but I'm sure it will still take a while.

My living arrangements are about to change too! After living with my family for almost the past 2 years, I'm finally moving back out in August and getting a place with a friend. I'm beyond excited! Not that I don't love living with my family, I'm just glad to actually have my own little home again. And the best part about it, it's RIGHT on the river. Eek, I'm so pumped! I also want to blow up pictures my x-rays onto canvas' and hang them on my walls. I think that would be a neat thing to do with them and they're unique!

I had a doctor's appointment this morning with my orthopedic doctor. Just a check up to see how my legs are doing and great news, they're doing great! I was a little concerned because now I have a job and have been using them a lot more, but working has actually strengthened them up a bit! I was relieved to hear that. He said that I can pretty much do whatever I want. Minus running. I can't ever run again. Which I'm really okay with because I've never been a runner. The cadaver ligaments in my knees are holding together very nicely too! For those of you who don't know, a cadaver is a corpse. Meaning, I have a dead person's ligaments. I'm not sure of a better way to put that. Anywho, I'm beyond thankful for the donor. And I actually got the idea today to maybe see who the person was. It's not like major organs or anything but without that person donating, my knees wouldn't be working like they do now. If I decided to look them up, I'm not even really sure what I would do with the information. We shall see!

After my doctor's appointment, I stopped by my physical therapy place. It's always great to see everyone that works there! I really, really miss that place. From going there 3 times a week to not going at all, is just weird to me. It almost feels like I have a hole in my schedule. I can't believe that when I started going there, I was in a wheelchair. And in a wheelchair for 5 more months after that. They gave me the strength I needed to get my legs strong enough to walk again. And then they retaught me how to walk. I will never forget that. They are all truly amazing people and I'm so glad to have met them!

I think I've covered a lot of the stuff that's been going on the past few months. So glad that my life is finally getting back to some sort of normal. Still can't believe that it's almost been 2 years since my accident but I think I'm doing really well considering! I'm a very, very happy lady!

I'm going to try my best to keep up with my blog. Maybe I'll start putting reminders in my phone. Don't worry, I'll figure out a good solution and it won't take me as long to write new posts.

"Life does not have to be perfect to be wonderful."

Xoxo.

Don't follow me, I'm lost.

Where to begin, where to begin....

It's been 3 weeks since my last day of physical therapy and I'm not going to lie, I miss it. Way more than I ever thought I was going to. It almost feels like a little piece of me is missing now. Never thought I would get so attached to it. But I love and miss it. And everyone that worked there too!

I've been walking a lot lately. My neighborhood has a ton of hills so it makes it a little more challenging than just walking around a boring track. I've been trying to walk at least 2 miles every day. And I actually made a 4 mile walk to a friends house not too long ago. It definitely wasn't easy but I didn't give up. I'm stubborn. By the end of it, I didn't think it was too bad but the few days after, I was extremely sore. The kind of sore I got the day I switched from my wheelchair to my walker. Whew! Kinda teared up just thinking about that. Still can't believe there was a point in time where I couldn't walk.

I have one medical bill left and there's only a few hundred dollars left on it. I have the greatest parents in the world for helping me out through all of this. I seriously don't know what I would do without them. They were so thoughtful to help me with the bills. I'm glad I'm not in debt, it's a huge relief.

I thought by now I'd have a job. Nope. I'm really no where near where I thought I would be by now. I haven't been looking for a job because I have no transportation, which has really sucked. I went to apply at a little cafe down the street from where I live, and I chickened out. For some reason, I was extremely nervous. My face was getting red and I was starting to feel sick. I don't know how I could possibly be nervous to apply for a waitress job. I was a waitress for almost 3 years, and a good one too! I even did promotions for our store and was a trainer. So I don't really understand my nerves. I guess since I haven't worked in almost 16 months, it's a little more nerve-racking than I thought it was going to be. Or maybe I'm just afraid I'll mess up. Oh well, hopefully these damn nerves go away soon. I really miss working.

I'll try to write in here more often. Promise!

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind."
- C.S. Lewis

Xoxo.

The end is near.

So as most of you who read my blog know, I got in a car accident 12/06/10 and have been recovering from it ever since. As of yesterday, it's officially been 15 months. While I'm not exactly 100% back to normal, I think I'm pretty darn close! I still get really tired if I stand too long and if I sit to long, my legs get stiff. But hey, those are two very minimal things considering how far I've come!

Tomorrow will be my last day of physical therapy! I can't believe it! I'm actually more sad than excited. I'm going to miss that place. A lot. By the way, the last time that I had therapy, I RAN! Well, kinda sorta ran. I had both of my knee braces on so it was an awkward, slow, waddle-ish run. But I still did it!

My next, and hopefully last, doctors appointment is on May 31st. Yes, that's also my birthday! I can't wait to see what my doctor has to say about my legs!

Now it's time to get my life back together. Not sure what I should start with. I need to get a new gym membership, get a new vehicle, find a job, save up money, and find a place to live! Seems like this will take a while but I'm determined to get it all done as soon as possible!

I plan on losing at least 15 pounds by my birthday and getting into the best shape I possibly can. I really need to start tanning too! Ghost white does not look good on me. But tanning isn't a priority, at all.

It's kinda hard to get a job when I don't have a vehicle, yet, I can't buy a vehicle without having a job. Vicious cycle but hopefully I get both sooner rather than later.

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out."

- John Wooden

Xoxo.

Where do I go from here?

As I'm getting closer and closer to the end of my recovery, I keep coming back to the same question. Where do I go from here? My life was so much different before my accident.

I'm walking a lot better than I ever could have hoped for. I've pushed and pushed myself to get to this point. It's been a really long journey and oddly enough, I'm kinda sad to see it coming to an end. Wow, that's something I never thought I'd say.

So where do I go from here?

I need a vehicle, job, money saved up, and a place to live. In that order, kinda.

I finally got released to work. I've been waiting for this for a long time and honestly, I'm scared out of my mind. I love to work, I really do. I'm a workaholic. But it's been almost 15 months since I've actually worked. I haven't applied for jobs or been to an interview in almost 4 years. My last job, I had for a long time but I don't want to go back there. Actually, I refuse to go back. But now I have no idea where I actually want to get a job. Or where I can get a job. I can't have a job sitting down all day, or standing all day, or even walking all day. So what do I do? Where can I find a job where I can do a little of all three? Help!

I have kinda been debating on going back to school too. I'm not entirely sure what I want to do. There's a few things I have in mind but I guess I'll have to figure all of that out when the time comes! Hopefully I can find something that I will actually want to stick with. I don't want to go to school and then change my major a thousand times. I hate wasting money and time. We shall see how things turn out!

Until then, I'll keep asking the same question I've been asking myself....

Where do I go from here?

Xoxo.

All I can do is be me.

I have so much I've been wanting to blog about! I'm so glad that my computer is temporarily working again. Hopefully it'll continue to work so I won't have to go so long between blog posts.

First order of business:

I'm curious to know if I have "I'm handicapped, please pick a fight and/or be rude to me!" Seriously. It's starting to get really annoying and frustrating. I don't think I'm at all mean to anyone in any way, yet I feel like a lot of people have been more rude to me than ever in my entire life. It makes no sense. Is it just because I'm an easy/slow target? Do they pick fights because they know I can't fight back? I seriously can't risk messing up my legs. After 4 surgeries and over a year of physical therapy, I don't really want to do this all over again. I guess I just will never understand the way people's minds work. If being rude to me is the only way for you to feel better about yourself, then I seriously feel bad for you.

Enough about that.... I just really needed to get that off my chest.

Physical therapy has been going pretty good. Though, I've been an emotional roller coaster there lately. I'm not sure if I'm just finally getting exhausted of all of this recovering, or what not. I have no idea. I don't seem to ever want to go. Maybe it's just because I've been sick lately or because a lot has been going on. I'm not really sure. I hope I get out of this funk and physical therapy will start being more exciting to me again.

I was asked last time at kneehab, what my future goals were as far as being able to do things again. For some reason, my mind went completely blank. When I first started going to therapy, my goal was to walk again. Mission accomplished! But I never really thought further than that. I'm not really into sports and my doctor said I shouldn't take up running or jogging because it could just mess up my knees quicker. So what can't I do now that I could do before? The only things that I could really think of were walking/standing for long periods of time and wearing heels. Oh how I miss wearing heels. I have so many gorgeous heels that I can no longer wear. I'm now stuck wearing flats. Not as fun or pretty. Just boring flats. Which makes everyone think that I've shrunk. Nope, I've always been 5 foot. But now I can't even fool anyone! Ha!!!!

On a more positive note than the rest of this, have I ever told y'all how much I adore my friends? I think I might be the luckiest girl in the world to have them! They've stuck by me through all of this and made my recovery road a million times better than I thought it was going to be. I don't even know how I'll ever repay them for all that they've done. I love each and every one of you, from the bottom of my heart. And don't ever forget that!

Also, a friend of mine asked me to make headbands for a charity's silent auction that she's helping out with. I'm really looking forward to making them! Anything I can do to give back, always makes my heart happy. I can't wait to get them all done and mail them to her!

Xoxo.

Mandicapped.

As most of you know, I've been calling myself Iron Man-dy a lot. Almost every single time I go to therapy or the gym. Well, the other day my dear friend, Kyle, came up with mandicapped. And I absolutely love it! Makes me giggle every time I say it.

I went to the doctor on Thursday, which is always kinda scary because I'm never sure what he's going to say. Sometimes the news is good and sometimes it's not. Luckily for me, this time the news was great! I no longer have to wear my right knee brace anymore!!!! Well, unless I'm doing physical activities such as going to the gym or physical therapy. But I'm thrilled about being able to leave my house without it!

I go back to the doctor on my birthday, May 31st, to see how my legs are doing and discuss whether or not I can stop wearing the left brace. I think I can manage wearing it a little bit longer! My doctor also said that I can start taking spin classes! I can't wait to start going!

In other, non medical related news, I've decided to open an Etsy shop. I know I've said it before and then backed out of it, but this time, I'm serious! I've been making my headbands and bows since my accident and I have so many that I'm running out of room to put all of them. And I really want people to have my little creations. So stay tuned on the shop opening! I'm really excited about it!

Here's a few of my many creations:

  

 

"It is not what happens to you but how you respond to what happens to you."

Xoxo.

The Giving Keys.

Ah! I finally got my The Giving Keys necklace in the mail the other day and I haven't taken it off since! I'm in love. Right when I heard about this non-profit organization, I couldn't wait to buy a necklace of my own. I am a huge supporter of non-profit organizations and I always love it when I find/heard about new ones!

When I first heard about The Giving keys, I immediately knew what word I wanted. I chose the word "STRENGTH" for my key because, as most of you who read my blog know, I've had to overcome a lot the past 13 and a half months. Emotionally and physically. Everyone that I have talked to about my car accident and injuries, has always told me that they really admire my strength. Even though they might not know it, that really helped me out a lot. I never knew how strong I could be until this happened. I can't wait to give my key away to someone that I feel needs the message just as much as I did. I know that whomever I give it to, will love it just as much as I do! And trust me, I'll be buying plenty more with other words on them. They will make the greatest gifts!

Pay It Forward

One thing I loved the most about this organization is that you get to create you own 8 letter word to have put on the key and at some point in time you have to give it away to a person you feel needs the message on your key. Once you've done that, you go and write on the website the story of why you gave it away. How great is that? I really think that one simple little word could completely change someone's day or even life.

All proceeds of The Giving Keys go to keeping a homeless couple of the streets and giving them a better life. On the website, it gives you updates on how the couple is doing and what they've accomplished since they became a part of the organization. I love knowing that my purchase has really helped out and the updates make it that much better.

To read more about this great non-profit organization, check out there website which I have listed below.

And go purchase your own beautiful necklace right now! Do it.

The Giving Keys Info

Website

Twitter

Facebook

Xoxo.

Two Thousand Twelve.

I've been meaning to write a post about the new year but haven't gotten around to it until today, day 10 of 2012. Better late than never, right? I changed the name of my blog and my blog template for the new year. Not sure if I really like either of the changes I made yet, but I can always change it later if I decide I don't.

2011 Recap:

2011 had many, many ups and downs for me. The year, for me, was consumed by doctor visits, surgeries, recovering, and lots of physical therapy. When it started off, I was very bitter and still going through the stress of my life completely changing. I now know that it changed for the better. I started off the year in a wheelchair and ended it walking on my own. How awesome is that? Not that I was never going to walk again, I was just never sure how long it was going to take to have everything completely fixed. Those of you who know me, know that I was determined to have my legs completely fixed before 2011 was over. I still have tons of physical therapy to do, but everything is fixed. Mission accomplished! I realized that I have some of the greatest friends in the world, I'm more than lucky to have them. I met a ton of really amazing people that I'm very proud to call friends now. I've become a lot closer to my family and I'm glad that I've gotten the opportunity to get to know them better and learn things that I never knew about them. Through everything that I have gone through, I found myself again. I'm happy, happier than I've ever been. I've tried new things. Crafting and reading are now my two biggest obsessions/hobbies. All in all, the year was a million times more fantastic than I could have ever imagined. I'm thankful for everything that happened in 2011.

2012:

There is a lot of things that I want to accomplish in new year. I've never really been one to make New Year's Resolutions, or anything of the sort, but since I have a lot that I truly need to get done this year, I thought I'd make a list of everything that I really want/need to get done before this year is over.

My Goals For 2012:

- Get a job.

Still can't believe it's been over a year since I've actually worked. I really miss it.

- Pay off my loan.

One less thing to pay a month will really help me out in the future.

- Get a new car.

Since Dora, yes I named my Explorer Dora, went out with a bang, I've been car-less. And I can't stand it.

- Save up at least $2,000.

When I first moved out when I was 18, I had no money saved up. And I always wished that I had actually thought about saving money before I moved out, instead of being in a big hurry to grow up.

- Get in good physical shape/lose weight.

Before you read this and tell me "you don't need to lose weight" or whatever else you might say, save it. I have a mirror and know what I look like. I'm not saying that I'm super overweight or anything, but I have gained a lot of weight since my car accident and I will feel a million times better once it's all gone. Plus, I can't stand exercising, so I've never really been in "good" shape and I would really like for that to change.

- Eat healthier.

I've never been a healthy eater. Which can cause a ton of health problems if I continue to eat all the greasy junk that I usually eat. I've actually been eating a lot more vegetables and fruits lately, I'm proud of that and plan on eating even more than I already do. I want to cut out my butter intake, greasy foods, fried foods, salt, etc.

- Take classes at the gym.

Once it starts to get hotter outside, I plan on taking water aerobics classes. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "that's what old people do". But it will be really, really good for my legs. And water aerobics is a good and easy way to get/stay in shape. I also want to take spin classes, but I can't even attempt to do those until my physical therapist says that my legs are strong enough to do that.

- Take lots and lots of road trips.

Road trips have always been one of my favorite things to do. There's something really soothing about driving to far places that you don't normally go to.

- Be more creative.

I've been making a lot of crafts that I have found the tutorials for online, but I would really like to completely create something on my own.

- Make a list of crafts and do every single one of them.

I want to make a scrapbook of every craft that I want to make and put the tutorial on there too, once I've completed the craft, I'm going to put a picture of it on the page with the tutorial. That way I'll always have something to go back to for a reference.

- Help others.

I'm going to start looking into a bunch of different non-profit organizations and start doing this one soon.

Not too crazy of a list, just some things that are really important to me. I don't think that any of them are too unreasonable and I really hope to accomplish every single one of them.

Xoxo.

These legs were made for walkin'.

And that's just what they'll do....

Whew, now that that's out of my system.... For everyone that has been keeping up with my long road of surgeries and recovering, I want you all to know that my legs are doing fantastic! My left leg is recovering a lot faster than I had expected it to, which is always great news to me. I still can't believe that I'm finally done with all of my surgeries and am finally walking on my own again. No more wheelchair, walker, or crutches. I'm done with all of them, and let me tell you, there's no greater feeling than walking on my own again! I still have to wear both of my knee braces for a few more months, but that's perfectly fine with me!

Physical therapy has been going great! I'm finally back to my little routine of going. 3 times a week. Which I love going, even though sometimes I don't act like it. I know that every time I go, I'm getting more and more stronger. And how awesome is that? I'm truly one lucky lady to have such amazing people help me with everything. Anywho, I think both of my legs are finally straight! All the prone hangs and other exercises that I do to make them straight have finally paid off. They're both bending really good but I was never too worried about that.

In other news, I've been crafting a LOT lately. I have a million crafts that I want to do, my head feels like it might explode! It doesn't help that I'm slightly addicted to Pinterest. I have a list of things that I want to make, and I'll post pictures as I get them done. I can't wait to see how everything turns out! I love creating things.

Here's a few of my recent creations:

Mod Podge Glitter Shoes

Before:

After:

These were really fun to make and I think they turned out pretty good considering I had never tried anything like this before. They were the perfect shoes to wear for the holidays! I can't wait to make a bunch more. I want to make them in every color of glitter I can find!

Homemade Air Fresheners

I made these in lavender scent and made them a bit too strong. The tutorial that I read said to put in 30 drops of the essential oil, but when I turned the bottle over, a bunch of it poured out! I was really excited when I woke up and saw that they gelled perfectly. And now that it's been a few days since I made them, they're not as strong and are actually starting to smell really good!

Melting Crayons

Before:

After:

When I first saw this project, I thought, "Melting crayons! How simple!". Man oh man, was I wrong! It took forever for the crayons to melt. I didn't anticipate that at all. It was a lot messier than I thought too. I put a bunch of paper down under the canvas because I was concerned about it dripping on the floor. I never anticipated on the melted crayon shooting off to the sides. Lesson learned! It was really fun to make though and I love how it turned out.

I can't wait to craft some more and post pictures of my creations!

"To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it."

- Kurt Vonnegut

Xoxo.

The worst is over.

Can't believe it's already been 10 days since my last post.

Man oh man, time sure does fly.

"Oh the weather outside is weather...."

Since my last surgery on the 2nd, it has been raining non stop! Don't get me wrong, I know that we really need the rain, but the changing of the weather and all the icky-ness, really hurts my legs. Everywhere that I have metal, the weather makes it feel like someone just hit me with a hammer. Not something that I enjoy. Luckily, it finally stopped raining and the weather is at a constant cold temperature, so the pain has semi gone away. Kinda makes me sad because I used to love the rain so much and now I just depise it. Damn the rain, right?

I finally had my doctors appointment on the 13th and got my stitches removed. And boy, did it feel good! There was one stitch that was poking me really bad and would start to poke my incision, causing it to bleed, every time I walked on it. I was miserable. Needless to say, I was more than thrilled when it came time to get them out.

I have to keep my straight leg knee brace on until my quads get stronger and then I can finally switch back to my bending knee brace. I should be off both knee braces in 6 months! Seems so far away but I can't wait until that day comes.

I started physical therapy again on the 14th. Back to the "beginning" one last time. Have to get this leg strong, bending and straightening properly! Getting my legs to bend has never been an issue, it's the straightening that's the hardest part. For some reason, my legs hate to be straight. Which is a slight problem. I'm trying my best to get them back to normal! And I'm back on the E-Stim machine, which I don't like but it really does help. And the pain isn't too bad, just an irritating feeling, if you know what I mean. I love going to physical therapy and instantly seeing results. Makes me feel very happy!

Other happy news, I won't be getting any new scars now that I won't be having anymore surgeries. 13 is the final number of scars. So glad there won't be more!

"There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with."
- Harry Crews

Xoxo.

Living. And I mean, really living.

Before my car accident, my life revolved around things that I thought I needed or needed to do. Not things that I wanted.

Working my ass off as a waitress, 7 days a week for 2 and a half years, some of those days also working double shifts, looking back now, it just doesn't seem worth it. So much time wasted. Precious time. Time that I'll never get back. Sure, I made a lot of money, but what good is having a lot of money if you're too tired to go and spend it on things that you really want? I always said that I was going to quit, just never actually brought myself to do it. Which is another reason that I think my car accident was a blessing in disguise. If I wouldn't have wrecked, I'd still be waitressing. I'd still be stuck in the miserable rut that I was in just a little over a year ago.

Now, I feel free. I feel like I can do anything that I want to.

I read an article today, The Top 5 Regrets In Life By Those About To Die, and it really got me thinking.... I don't want to ever go through life with regrets. When my time comes to leave this life, I want to look back and be proud of everything I did. I don't want to ever wonder "what if". I want to be happy and really live.

The first regret was the one that really stood out to me more than anything, "I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me." Growing up, I was always told that you have to go to college and get a degree to become successful and happy. This, to me, is wrong. Personally, I find school to be a huge waste of time and money. And no, I'm not trying to discourage anyone from going. If that's what you want to do, then by all means, do it. I would rather learn about things that I really want to learn about, rather than what someone has to teach me. I want to travel, craft, read, try new things, set goals and succeed in them, have adventures, etc. From now on, I only want to work enough to have enough money for my little adventures and what not. Anything and everything that makes me happy!

I want passion and pride in what I do, in everything I do. I want to wake up every morning, absolutely loving everything I do.
I want to matter.

 From now on, I am going to live my life the best I can. A happy life. One that I can be proud of in the end.

Are you living your life the way you really want to?

Xoxo.

It's officially been a year.

For those of you that don't know,

I got in a car accident exactly one year ago today.

12/06/10

"Everything happens for a reason."

This past year has been crazy. I never imagined that something like this would ever happen to me but it has. I started off being very angry and upset. I couldn't understand why this had to happen to me. Now, I'm thankful. I'm so much happier and stronger now.

1 car accident.

1 ambulance ride.

1 emergency room visit.

(Which was absolutely terrible. They didn't do a very good job at anything and only made things worse.)

Minor injuries:

I had a few really bad seat belt burns; one on my neck, and then one on each side of my stomach. One of my rings that I was wearing, went through my elbow. And I had a bruised lung.

Serious injuries:

On my right leg; I broke my ankle in three places, shattered my fibula, broke my knee, tore my ACL, and tore my meniscus. On my left knee; I tore my ACL, PCL, LCL, MCL, and meniscus. Possibly some other things too. I'm not even entirely sure what all I've torn or broken. So this is what I understand from all of it.

4 surgeries.

First one was December 20th, 2010.

Second one was February 28th, 2011.

Third one was August 26th, 2011.

And my fourth, and LAST surgery was December 2nd, 2011.

I have over 17 screws and other metal objects in my legs now.

13 scars.

All various lengths and widths, between both legs.

Can't even tell you how long I spent in the hospital between the ER and all the surgeries.

1 wheelchair for 5 months.

1 walker for 1 month.

1 pair of crutches; 2 times for 1 month each.

1 ankle boot.

5 different knee braces.

It feels like I've been to a million doctor's appointments at Orthopedic Performance Institute. My orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Christopher Phelps, is fantastic! He's taken really good care of my legs. All of my surgeries have gone really well and he's made all of this a lot easier for me. He's a big part of why I'm able to walk again. Can't thank him enough for all he's done. If you need any orthopedic surgeries done, I highly suggest going to him.

Most of my time has been spent doing physical therapy at Texas Physical Therapy Specialists in Stone Oak. Which has probably been my favorite part about all of this. My physical therapist: Jennifer Christie; the techs: Anessa, Carlos, and Quentin; the two awesome ladies at the front desk: Rebekah and Kathy; and all of the interns and other physical therapists that have helped me through all of this. They are the greatest people ever and they are the other big reason of why I'm able to walk. I seriously don't know what I would do without them. I can't even begin to know how to thank them for everything. I have so much love for every single one of them.

Family:

I love my family so much. They've been helping me through all of this so much. I would be no where without them. Wheeling me around, taking me to and from doctor's appointments and physical therapy, paying for my medical bills, etc. I'm so lucky to have a family that loves me as much as they do. They've had to put up with a lot of not-so-awesome things over this past year, and they just did everything without even thinking twice. How awesome is that? Even the really gross things, which I would mention, but more than a few of you would be seriously disturbed. I'll leave the icky things out. Just know, I have such an awesome and loving family.

Friends:

I don't think that I thank my friends enough. For everything. Calling, texting, coming over, picking me up, taking me to lunch or dinner, bringing me flowers or other random little gifts, or anything else that they do. Just showing me that they care has been enough to get me through this. They are my second family. I think I have the greatest friends anyone could ever ask for. There has been the not-so-awesome times, but somehow, we've managed to get through them and our friendships have become greater. I would name names but I might forget one and then I would feel horrible. Just know that I love all of you. Very, very much. Y'all are the greatest!

Xoxo.

LAST surgery.



Yesterday was my last of 4 surgeries. My surgery was supposed to be a reconstruction to my left ACL & PCL. I was more nervous for this surgery than I have for any of the others. A part of me was scared that once I was under and my doctor was looking inside my knee, he'd find something else wrong. Luckily, that was not the case at all.

Before surgery:

I got to the hospital around 5:10am, which I thought was a little early because my surgery wasn't until 7:30am. Then I had to sign my life away, which sadly, I'm used to by now. Admitting didn't take too long because all of my information is already in the computer. Once all of that was taken care of, then took me to the pre-op room that I was assigned. I was kinda on edge already because it was really early, I was tired, and I was getting more and more scared as the time went on. Not to mention that my nurse had NO clue how to put in an IV in my hand. She stuck the needle in the vein in my hand and then wiggled it around, which left a huge knot in my hand. I was convinced that my day was not going to be a good one. Again, I was wrong. Another nurse came in and took over, and she was fantastic!

When my doctor came in and explained to me, again, what he was going to do, he said he might not have to do my PCL. I asked him how long it would be before I could put weight on my leg if he had to do both, my ACL & PCL, and he said 6 weeks. Which is so far away. If he only had to do my ACL, it would be 3 days. HUGE difference. I was praying the whole time that once he opened up my knee, my PCL would be a lot sturdier than he originally thought and he wouldn't have to fix it.

Finally, my anesthesiologist came in. That was the part I was most concerned about. The first two surgeries, the anesthesia didn't really have an effect on me after I woke up. But the surgery before this one, I was really sick. And the main reason I couldn't leave the hospital was because I was so sick. It made me absolutely miserable. So I asked him if there was any way that I could get some other form of anesthesia. He said that he would give me anti-nausea medicine before surgery and right afterwards. He also said that he would give me a nerve block in my leg so that it would be numb and I wouldn't need a bunch of norco's. Which I thought was a fantastic idea because I can't stand norco's. They make me really sick, too.

After surgery:

I woke up in recovery and to my surprise, I felt fantastic. No sickness at all. I was wide awake and very alert. My first concern was finding out if he had done my ACL & PCL or just my ACL. I asked the nurse, and she said he did both. My heart sank. Then she read over the anesthesiologist report and he had only written down that my ACL was done. So I was hopeful for good news. Then I saw my doctor, and he told me that once he got inside my knee, my PCL was intact and a lot stronger than he had thought. Therefore, he only reconstructed my ACL. This was the BEST news I could have ever gotten. I was so excited and giddy!

Then they wheeled my bed to the post-op room so that I could see my parents. And they were surprised at how awesome I felt and looked. They were really glad that I wasn't sick. The nurse said before I left, all I had to do was eat, drink, and pee. Simple enough, right? So, I ate a cup of jello and drank some apple juice. A normal person would have then got up to pee, but I wasn't ready to stand up and use my crutches just yet. So I decided to take a little nap. Looking back, I should have just got up, peed and then left. But oh well, right when I woke up, I got that over with and then finally got to leave the hospital.

When I got home, I even stuffed my face with some BBQ. Which was weird because usually after surgery, I only want soup and jello. But since I was feeling so great, I decided to go for the good stuff. It was so yummy. I couldn't even believe how much I ate. Then I went back to bed and took naps on and off.

Today, I'm not feeling as great as I did yesterday, but I'm still doing pretty good. Tomorrow, I get to take off all my bandage and clean my new wounds. I'm excited to see what they look like, too. And Monday, I get to put standing weight on my leg. I can't wait!

Also, 3 days until it's officially been a year since my car accident. Can't believe it's already almost been a year....

Xoxo.

4 days....

It seems like I've been starting all my past few blog posts off with some version of "I keep meaning to write on this...." or "I keep forgetting....". Either way, if you like my blog, my apologies for not writing more often.

Where, oh where shall I begin?

I'll start off by saying that my LAST surgery will be on December 2nd! Only 4 days away. I can't believe that this will finally be the end of my surgeries because of my car accident. Makes me a little nervous too. You'd think that this one being my 4th one, I'd be a pro at it by now. Sadly, I am not. I thought this one would be a piece of cake, but as it's getting closer and closer, I'm getting a little sick to my stomach. Just nerves. Luckily, that will pass. On this surgery, my surgeon will be fixing my ACL & PCL on my left knee. I was only hoping for just an ACL fix, but unfortunately, he'll be doing both. Which will be a little harder on me than the last surgery but definitely not the worst one I've had. So I'm very thankful for that.

December 6th is coming up so soon, 8 days to be exact. I can't believe it's almost been a year since my car accident. My life has changed in so many different ways. It's crazy to think how drastically things can change within just a short few minutes. I'd like to think that my car accident was somehow a blessing in disguise. I'm happier and stronger than I've ever been, and I'm very thankful for that.

Physical therapy has really been kicking my butt. Which I oddly enough, I love. My legs have never been stronger! One legged squats, I own you! I can't wait for this next surgery so that my physical therapy can only get more intense and I can finally be on the last part of my recovery. I'm really sad that I'm not going to be able to go back to therapy until 2 weeks after my surgery, but when I get back, I'll be very well rested and ready to get things done!

Xoxo.

Better and better.

So much has happened in these past couple of weeks! I keep promising myself that I'm going to update this more and I always seem to forget. Possibly because I don't use my computer very much anymore.

Let's see....

Where shall I begin?

We'll start with physical therapy. I'm so glad to be going back there and getting stronger a little more with each passing day. I love when I actually start seeing a difference in my legs. Makes me feel really accomplished! And I'm sure that I've mentioned this before, but my physical therapist is amazing! And everyone that works there is too. I can never even begin to thank them for everything that they've done for me over the past 10 months. Without them, I wouldn't be walking today or even as strong as I am now. I appreciate them more than words can even begin to describe.

I had my 5 week follow up with the doctor today and everything went extremely well! My new ACL is holding up great, just as it should. He said that he's very happy with all of the progress that I've made. My bending is really great but I need to work on my leg extension more. I see him again in 5 weeks and my next and FINAL surgery should be the first week of December! Not as soon as I wanted it, but my right knee needs to be as strong as possible before I go under and get the left knee done. The next few weeks, I'm going to really have to step my game up! And I'm more than willing to do so!

That's all for now. I'm going to try and write more. And I hope that I really will! Today was a great, happy day and I hope everyone else's was full of happiness too!

Xoxo.

Just a little update.

So much has happened since my last post! I'll try and fill in as much as I can think of.

My surgery on the 26th went very, very well. I got a little sick afterwards but that was only because of the anesthesia. Anywho, from my understanding, my surgeon took out a piece of my hamstring to reconstruct my ACL. And unfortunately, during that surgery he decided that he was going to go ahead and do the surgery on my other knee too. Which will be the same surgery. I was hoping that I wasn't going to need it, but it turns out that I do.

Great thing about this surgery though, no wheelchair! I had to crutch my way out of the hospital. And three days after surgery, I was already putting weight on it! Now, I'm already walking on it. I'm excited! If my leg was a little stronger, I wouldn't need the crutches but I'm using them until I can actually hold myself back up.

I saw the doctor on Thursday; everything is going great and healing very nicely! My new, reconstructed ACL is holding up very well. I'm so happy that it's doing so well! As soon as all the swelling in my leg goes down, I can start wearing my ACL brace, the one wear I can actually bend and walk around, again instead of this straight leg brace! He said that I need to work on my leg extension, bending, and getting my quad muscle stronger. Which should be a piece of cake! I see the doctor again in 5 weeks to see how strong I am, and if it's strong enough, we'll schedule my next surgery!

Not really relevant news, but I got a new handicap pass too! Yay! This one expires in March of 2012. Now I won't have to walk/crutch across the parking lot anymore!

Yesterday, Friday, I started going to physical therapy again! I was so excited! I had a really good first session back! I really missed going there. Now I get to start going three times a week again! I can't wait to start getting stronger and stronger.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

- Mohandas Gandhi

Xoxo.

On my way to being myself, again.

Ah, so in my last blog post, I had to vent.

I'm over it now. It was just one of those days, if you know what I mean.

I went to the doctor on the 10th and got some ridiculously amazing news. He only wants to do surgery on my right knee, reconstructing my ACL in my right knee. I still don't have an ACL in my left knee but he said there's something in my knee that is making up for the lack of ACL in that knee. Which means, I'll only have one more surgery instead of two!!!! Though, it's not 100% certain at this moment. He's going to wait until he's doing my right knee to see how the left one is acting while I'm "sleeping". Hopefully, it'll be doing the exact same thing that it's doing right now. I'm more than thrilled! When he was telling me, I almost started tearing up. If my next surgery is the last one, I will be the happiest person! And my recovery time will be a lot less than I had anticipated.

My surgery is on the 26th, by the way. 9 days away! Y'all have no idea how excited I am. Words could not even begin to describe. I haven't written many blog entries lately, but the ones I have written have been kinda sloppy and random. I'm not focused enough to write something decent. I'm just too excited and have so many things running through my brain constantly. I'll calm down after surgery.

Once I start going back to physical therapy, it's all uphill from there. I'm going to work my ass off to make sure my legs are in tip top shape. This time, physical therapy will be a lot more aggressive than before. And I'll finally be able to get back to my normal self. Which, I'm very excited for.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "everything happens for a reason". I'm the biggest believer in that. I love all of my friends and family that have been here for me through all of this, y'all will never understand how much you mean to me. All of you. I've also become closer to friends that I lost touch with, and I'm so very thankful for that. How I ever got by without some of you, I'll never, ever know. I don't plan on ever finding out again either.

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."

- Baltasar Gracian

Xoxo.

Frustrations.

This post will pretty much be me venting.

You've been warned.

Now on to my venting. My medical bills are driving me absolutely insane. There is so many of them and they all want large sums of money every month. Do I look like I'm made out of money? I can't afford that. And I certainly don't know many people that can. It makes me sick to my stomach how many times they call my phone or sent me letters in the mail. I get that you need your money but what am I supposed to do?

I did get released to go back to work and then Hooter's had to "let me go" because "if you can't wear pantie hose under your knee braces, you can't work here". You'd think after working there for 3 years, they would cut me a little slack. I understand that pantie hose are a part of the uniform. I get it. But what about the pregnant girls? They wear t-shirts. That's not a part of the uniform either. Oh well. In some way, I'm sort of glad that I'm no longer employed there. I'm finally out and don't have to worry about it anymore. But enough about that.

At that point in time. It was completely pointless for me to go looking for a job. I would have only been able to work for a month or two and then I'd have to take off for a little over two months because of my next two surgeries. So out of the sake of it not being far to a company, I didn't bother with it.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten phone calls from bill collectors,etc, telling me that they need $4,000 right now. WHO CAN JUST DISH THAT OUT ON THE SPOT? When I explained to them that I can't work, they tell me "that's not really my problem". All of these people are so heartless. They don't care about anything but money. No one ever gets a phone call saying "how are you doing" or "I'm glad that you're doing better". Not that I'm asking for that or that anyone is, but in the midst of you asking me for money, you could at least pretend like you care. Have some compassion.

The sad part, I have a ton of medical bills and I'm fixing to have a lot more after my next two surgeries, but compared to some people, my medical bills are nothing. My heart goes out to everyone that has to go through and deal with this stuff too. Especially with the people that are more effected by all of this. I wish we didn't live in a world so dependent on money. I wish everyone would just care about each other and do things from their heart.

I think this is the end of my rant. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. I'm going to turn my frown upside down and make something positive of my day.

"This whole world is out there just trying to score. I've seen enough. I don't want to see any more."

- Bruce Springsteen

Xoxo.

I'm a happy, happy girl.

Where to begin, where to begin.... It's been forever since I've written. I keep meaning to and then completely lose track of time. It doesn't help that I have the worst attention span. Let's see....

Walking has been going great!!!! Every step that I take just makes me more and more stronger. It's such an amazing feeling. And my ankles finally stopped swelling all the time. That was probably the worst part about walking again in the beginning. The swelling always hurt and made my ankles 5 times bigger. My legs are bending perfectly and straightening as much as I can possibly make them. Going up and down the stairs is easily ten times easier than it was. Though, I have to hold on with both hands to walk really good down them. Practice makes perfect. I'll get the hang of it again, eventually.

I've been going to the gym a lot to get my muscles in my legs back. At this point, they might even be stronger than they've ever been. My doctor wants me to have as much muscle as possible going into my next two surgeries. That way my recovery time won't be as bad.

My next doctor's appointment is on the 10th of August, and I can't wait for it to get here. That's when the planning of my final surgeries and the recovery will begin. Who would've ever thought that I'd be excited to get surgery? Seems like such a silly thing to be anxious/excited for. Luckily, my next two surgeries are only to repair my ACL's. Should be a piece of cake compared to the surgeries I've already had. I don't have either one of my ACL's at this point and I'm hoping that in my recovery time, nothing has torn or needs to be fixed again. My fingers are crossed!

I was in debate on how I wanted to do my surgeries. I could either have one and be in a wheelchair again, which would get them both out of the way but I'd lose entirely too much muscle and my recovery time would be longer. Or I could get them done one at a time and just be on crutches. My doctor is leaning more towards doing them one at a time. That way all the muscle that I've been working really hard to get back, won't completely vanish like it did the last time I couldn't walk.

I can't believe it's already been a little over 7 months since my accident. So many things have changed. My life is completely different now. Everything happens for a reason and I'm a very firm believer in that. I'm a better person now that I've gone through all of this. Well, still going through all of this. A lot has happened in these past 7 months but I wouldn't change a thing. As ridiculous as that sounds, I wouldn't.

I love everyone that has been here helping me through this long process. Family, old friends, new friends, doctors, nurses, my physical therapist, and a few others a long the way. And I've had a million different inspirations throughout all of this. There's no way I could have done all of this alone. And I love each and every one of you for being amazing.

I'll write more soon. I have a million things running through my brain right now and if I don't stop writing now, this one entry could possibly turn into a novel. I'll figure all my thoughts out and jot them down for future blog entries.

Last note, I've seriously never been happier in my entire life.

Xoxo.