Just a little update.

So much has happened since my last post! I'll try and fill in as much as I can think of.

My surgery on the 26th went very, very well. I got a little sick afterwards but that was only because of the anesthesia. Anywho, from my understanding, my surgeon took out a piece of my hamstring to reconstruct my ACL. And unfortunately, during that surgery he decided that he was going to go ahead and do the surgery on my other knee too. Which will be the same surgery. I was hoping that I wasn't going to need it, but it turns out that I do.

Great thing about this surgery though, no wheelchair! I had to crutch my way out of the hospital. And three days after surgery, I was already putting weight on it! Now, I'm already walking on it. I'm excited! If my leg was a little stronger, I wouldn't need the crutches but I'm using them until I can actually hold myself back up.

I saw the doctor on Thursday; everything is going great and healing very nicely! My new, reconstructed ACL is holding up very well. I'm so happy that it's doing so well! As soon as all the swelling in my leg goes down, I can start wearing my ACL brace, the one wear I can actually bend and walk around, again instead of this straight leg brace! He said that I need to work on my leg extension, bending, and getting my quad muscle stronger. Which should be a piece of cake! I see the doctor again in 5 weeks to see how strong I am, and if it's strong enough, we'll schedule my next surgery!

Not really relevant news, but I got a new handicap pass too! Yay! This one expires in March of 2012. Now I won't have to walk/crutch across the parking lot anymore!

Yesterday, Friday, I started going to physical therapy again! I was so excited! I had a really good first session back! I really missed going there. Now I get to start going three times a week again! I can't wait to start getting stronger and stronger.

"Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will."

- Mohandas Gandhi

Xoxo.

On my way to being myself, again.

Ah, so in my last blog post, I had to vent.

I'm over it now. It was just one of those days, if you know what I mean.

I went to the doctor on the 10th and got some ridiculously amazing news. He only wants to do surgery on my right knee, reconstructing my ACL in my right knee. I still don't have an ACL in my left knee but he said there's something in my knee that is making up for the lack of ACL in that knee. Which means, I'll only have one more surgery instead of two!!!! Though, it's not 100% certain at this moment. He's going to wait until he's doing my right knee to see how the left one is acting while I'm "sleeping". Hopefully, it'll be doing the exact same thing that it's doing right now. I'm more than thrilled! When he was telling me, I almost started tearing up. If my next surgery is the last one, I will be the happiest person! And my recovery time will be a lot less than I had anticipated.

My surgery is on the 26th, by the way. 9 days away! Y'all have no idea how excited I am. Words could not even begin to describe. I haven't written many blog entries lately, but the ones I have written have been kinda sloppy and random. I'm not focused enough to write something decent. I'm just too excited and have so many things running through my brain constantly. I'll calm down after surgery.

Once I start going back to physical therapy, it's all uphill from there. I'm going to work my ass off to make sure my legs are in tip top shape. This time, physical therapy will be a lot more aggressive than before. And I'll finally be able to get back to my normal self. Which, I'm very excited for.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, "everything happens for a reason". I'm the biggest believer in that. I love all of my friends and family that have been here for me through all of this, y'all will never understand how much you mean to me. All of you. I've also become closer to friends that I lost touch with, and I'm so very thankful for that. How I ever got by without some of you, I'll never, ever know. I don't plan on ever finding out again either.

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil."

- Baltasar Gracian

Xoxo.

Frustrations.

This post will pretty much be me venting.

You've been warned.

Now on to my venting. My medical bills are driving me absolutely insane. There is so many of them and they all want large sums of money every month. Do I look like I'm made out of money? I can't afford that. And I certainly don't know many people that can. It makes me sick to my stomach how many times they call my phone or sent me letters in the mail. I get that you need your money but what am I supposed to do?

I did get released to go back to work and then Hooter's had to "let me go" because "if you can't wear pantie hose under your knee braces, you can't work here". You'd think after working there for 3 years, they would cut me a little slack. I understand that pantie hose are a part of the uniform. I get it. But what about the pregnant girls? They wear t-shirts. That's not a part of the uniform either. Oh well. In some way, I'm sort of glad that I'm no longer employed there. I'm finally out and don't have to worry about it anymore. But enough about that.

At that point in time. It was completely pointless for me to go looking for a job. I would have only been able to work for a month or two and then I'd have to take off for a little over two months because of my next two surgeries. So out of the sake of it not being far to a company, I didn't bother with it.

I can't tell you how many times I've gotten phone calls from bill collectors,etc, telling me that they need $4,000 right now. WHO CAN JUST DISH THAT OUT ON THE SPOT? When I explained to them that I can't work, they tell me "that's not really my problem". All of these people are so heartless. They don't care about anything but money. No one ever gets a phone call saying "how are you doing" or "I'm glad that you're doing better". Not that I'm asking for that or that anyone is, but in the midst of you asking me for money, you could at least pretend like you care. Have some compassion.

The sad part, I have a ton of medical bills and I'm fixing to have a lot more after my next two surgeries, but compared to some people, my medical bills are nothing. My heart goes out to everyone that has to go through and deal with this stuff too. Especially with the people that are more effected by all of this. I wish we didn't live in a world so dependent on money. I wish everyone would just care about each other and do things from their heart.

I think this is the end of my rant. I'm not going to talk about it anymore. I'm going to turn my frown upside down and make something positive of my day.

"This whole world is out there just trying to score. I've seen enough. I don't want to see any more."

- Bruce Springsteen

Xoxo.

I'm a happy, happy girl.

Where to begin, where to begin.... It's been forever since I've written. I keep meaning to and then completely lose track of time. It doesn't help that I have the worst attention span. Let's see....

Walking has been going great!!!! Every step that I take just makes me more and more stronger. It's such an amazing feeling. And my ankles finally stopped swelling all the time. That was probably the worst part about walking again in the beginning. The swelling always hurt and made my ankles 5 times bigger. My legs are bending perfectly and straightening as much as I can possibly make them. Going up and down the stairs is easily ten times easier than it was. Though, I have to hold on with both hands to walk really good down them. Practice makes perfect. I'll get the hang of it again, eventually.

I've been going to the gym a lot to get my muscles in my legs back. At this point, they might even be stronger than they've ever been. My doctor wants me to have as much muscle as possible going into my next two surgeries. That way my recovery time won't be as bad.

My next doctor's appointment is on the 10th of August, and I can't wait for it to get here. That's when the planning of my final surgeries and the recovery will begin. Who would've ever thought that I'd be excited to get surgery? Seems like such a silly thing to be anxious/excited for. Luckily, my next two surgeries are only to repair my ACL's. Should be a piece of cake compared to the surgeries I've already had. I don't have either one of my ACL's at this point and I'm hoping that in my recovery time, nothing has torn or needs to be fixed again. My fingers are crossed!

I was in debate on how I wanted to do my surgeries. I could either have one and be in a wheelchair again, which would get them both out of the way but I'd lose entirely too much muscle and my recovery time would be longer. Or I could get them done one at a time and just be on crutches. My doctor is leaning more towards doing them one at a time. That way all the muscle that I've been working really hard to get back, won't completely vanish like it did the last time I couldn't walk.

I can't believe it's already been a little over 7 months since my accident. So many things have changed. My life is completely different now. Everything happens for a reason and I'm a very firm believer in that. I'm a better person now that I've gone through all of this. Well, still going through all of this. A lot has happened in these past 7 months but I wouldn't change a thing. As ridiculous as that sounds, I wouldn't.

I love everyone that has been here helping me through this long process. Family, old friends, new friends, doctors, nurses, my physical therapist, and a few others a long the way. And I've had a million different inspirations throughout all of this. There's no way I could have done all of this alone. And I love each and every one of you for being amazing.

I'll write more soon. I have a million things running through my brain right now and if I don't stop writing now, this one entry could possibly turn into a novel. I'll figure all my thoughts out and jot them down for future blog entries.

Last note, I've seriously never been happier in my entire life.

Xoxo.

This time is mine.

To start this off, I'm really sorry for slackin' on the blog. There's been a lot going on lately and it doesn't help that my computer doesn't work either. I'll get back in my bloggin' groove!

I think I last left off with my great news from my doctor. Since then, I've been in the process of moving back to my mama's house. Which has been a little hectic because I have a ton of stuff, most of which, doesn't fit in her house. I'm doing the best I can for the space I have. I definitely need to go through all my clothes and get rid of some. It's a little ridiculous how many clothes I have. They will all now be sent to Goodwill for other people to enjoy.

Walking has been going GREAT. And it's getting really, really easy now! I should get my new ACL brace for my right leg sometime tomorrow and tomorrow is also my last physical therapy appointment! Until my next two surgeries anyways. I just signed up for a gym so that I can continue to make my legs stronger and stronger. Plus, it won't hurt to work out. I think I'll be okay getting back into shape.

I'm really sad that I won't be going to physical therapy for the next three months. I've become really close to everyone that works there. I think tomorrow will be an emotional day. Luckily, it's only a short while that I won't be with them. Then I'll need them to make me better all over again.

This summer I have every intention of being a social butterfly, not that that's any different than how my life was before. I just plan on not ever wasting time, ever again. Life is precious. It took a long time for me to realize that but I'm really glad that I did. Bring on the fun!

August 10th is my next doctors appointment and that's when I'll find out when the first of my next two surgeries will be. I'm kinda excited for it. After the next two surgeries, I should be all done with them! The last one will definitely be the greatest one! My complete and 100% recovery won't be until July of 2012. Seems like it's forever away but I think the time will just fly by. I can't wait until all of this is a distant memory.

Good news, my 21st birthday is in 6 days! You'd think I'd be excited about being able to legally drink but I've been "21" for so long that it just seems like another birthday. I am, however, very excited to get presents and money! Seems sad but since I won't be able to work or find a job, getting money will be amazing!

The trip that my friend and I are going on is in 8 days! Can't believe it's so close now. I can't wait to get away for a mini vacay. It's much needed. Plus, I've already booked an hour long massage. Which I need more than anything. It's probably the thing that I'm most excited about! Being bed ridden for 4 and a half months really made my back messed up. Finally it'll feel good again.

I think I've covered a lot of what's been going on. I'll make sure to post more often. I shall not forget! Even if I have to make a little reminder in my phone calendar.

Xoxo.